Wander Wednesday

Hello there beautiful souls,

This week I am writing to you from Siargao Island, overlooking the beach from my AirBnB vacation rental, after a good cup of coffee and some lovely conversations with my german neighbour this morning.

Let’s dive into the three topics that came to my mind while wandering so you too can wander and wonder about it.

One can be “average” at something and still absolutely love it

I had this thought as I was reflecting on my surf journey- I never progressed beyond a “beginner” level even when I really wanted to master it. Yet, this is the one activity that gives me immense joy and happiness beyond description! It keeps my inner child alive and the element of play involved really brings out the best in me. Often we are presented with this idea of people only enjoying things that they are really good at and surfing proved this wrong for me. I choose to write on this point this week because I want you to know that IT IS OKAY if you are just mediocre at something as long as it brings YOU (not anyone else)- JOY.

Not everyone is meant to be an athlete or professional at something but everyone are meant to have hobbies and passion because love for these activities can bring us so much positive emotions which is truly the whole point of doing them. For example- regardless if you are a slow runner, average long distance runner or a sprinter - at the end of the run, all of these will trigger the release of endorphins- more commonly known as runner’s high which brings so much euphoria that it is impossible not to do it over and over again. Another example of this would be painting- I have heard multiple times from people that they are insecure about their art work thinking that they are not “good enough”, however when they start painting it brings them into a natural meditative flow state where time cease to exist and they are fully immersed in the beautiful experience of creating.

Hence, I urge you not to measure happiness based on excellence. Sing as much as you want even if your voice cracks, dance like no one is watching, create art like it is going to be the centre piece of your home, run regardless of your speed and surf with a smile even when you fall off the waves! Do not be disheartened by comparing yourself with others or measuring it with the “standard” desired outcome because we are ALL entitled to our pursuits of joy in this precious life we are all equally granted with.

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it-

Maya Angelou

The “Non Conformist” Paradox

I have written in the previous newsletter about conformity and how to stay true to yourself, however I also started reflecting on the opposite end of the spectrum of that where one develops extreme nonconformity at all cost. They are called Contrarions- individuals who deliberately act in ways that oppose social or cultural norms, often doing so to base their core identity on being against the mainstream. This is associated with a high "need for uniqueness", actively rejecting popular trends, viewing widespread participation in something as a threat to their autonomy. They develop their identity based on what they are not, rather than what they are.

Research suggests that some self-proclaimed nonconformists may simply be conforming to a smaller, alternative subculture or "acting out" in a way that is still a reaction to the mainstream, rather than truly independent.

For example- families wearing the same matching outfits for celebrations like Eid Al-Fitr/ Lunar New Year or Christmas may invoke some nonconformist to not fall for the trends however perhaps beyond trends, it cultivates aspects of togetherness, unity as a family or just the simple joy of belonging.

Takeaway : Instead of quickly jumping on trends/ideas/norms or firmly rejecting them altogether and calling it mainstream, perhaps you can approach it with curiosity and experiment it with yourself and then assess the good or bad that arises from it to finally decide on what aligns with your very own value system. Refrain from making fun of others who are “conformists” without diving deeper into the potential benefits of it.

We don’t have to try hard to be unique because we already are

Nature is our free ‘biohacking’ tool

Long before modern medicine or now trending “longevity” and “biohacking” wellness protocols, people intuitively understood the restorative power of the natural world — walking through forests, sitting by rivers, listening to waves, or just simply watching the sunset.

Today, science confirms what our ancestors always knew: time in nature profoundly supports our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Research shows that exposure to green and blue spaces can-

This is not poetic wellness language, it is measurable physiology. In 2019, a peer-reviewed study published in Scientific Reports provided compelling evidence for the health benefits of nature. The research analysed data from nearly 20,000 participants and found that those who spent at least 120 minutes per week in natural environments were significantly more likely to report good health and high well-being compared to those with no nature exposure. This positive association was consistent across different age groups and health statuses, it also noted that it did not matter how the 120 minutes were distributed throughout the week, suggesting flexibility in how nature time can be incorporated into daily routines.

Green Space - Areas dominated by vegetation — forests, parks, gardens, mountains

Blue spaces - Natural bodies of water — oceans, beach, lakes, rivers, waterfalls

Years before I got into lifestyle medicine, I was already a big advocate of green and blue spaces because I feel the changes in my overall wellbeing significantly to the extent my mental health is dependant on it. However, learning these evidence based research data makes me even more convicted and now I want to prescribe it to everyone to get all the benefits it has to offer! So, here is my universal prescription for all of you:

Until next Wednesday, may you wander and wonder through your days — indulging in all the activities you love, approach norms with curiosity and immerse in nature whenever you can, for however long you can.

Much love,

Dr Sharolyn

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For those interested in lifestyle changes, here is a helpful tool to help with behaviour change and cultivating healthier habits anytime.